I find it interesting that my comment about the site admins dealing with the nocopy issue is still awaiting moderation while another comment I made happens to have gotten through just fine. Deleting comments about the nocopy issue will not make the ire of having nocopy in place go away and people will eventually pick up on the fact this is what is getting filtered out. Nocopy does not prevent plagiarism and when I need to quote I am able to type it in really easy. I just don’t like doing it because I sometimes put in grammatical mistakes that weren’t there before and I definitely have to work from a secondary window instead of writing the review right in the review box. This becomes a major pain when the review I’m writing is short and it is a major pain when it comes to reporting stuff. I don’t want to have to retype copyrighted stuff from songfics and RTB.
A Different Life ~ What if a certain character in DDR never died because Toshiro wasn’t near him when he manifested his zampaktuo?
A Different Tale – An AU to the Untold Tales based on an old theory I had where a certain zampaktuo belongs to a different character then revealed in canon.
Another world – AtlA/Bleach crossover
Baby Mine ~ Toshiro and Hisagi are deaged by one of Mayuri’s experiments. (working title)
Bleached White Stars ~ This would be a Space Opera AU.
Blizzard ~ AU to Soflty Snowing Digi!Angel ~ Digimon/Bleach crossover where Toshiro is for once not related to Gin and Rangiku but someone else.
Fear of a Monster – Harry Potter/Bleach crossover where Toshiro is not related to Gin and Rangiku, but is a child genius in the world of the living at something. Plot may end up Gary Stuing Toshiro though.
Finding Friendship – Shinigami Kid’s Society fic that is a tribute to Lucanite’s work, but taking a different route.
Goodbye Taicho ~ What if Isshin didn’t disappear? (Came up with this idea before some info was revealed in the 1000 Year War) Hanyu child ~ Inuyasha/Bleach crossover, again where Toshiro is not Ran and Gin’s child.
High School Boy ~ Sequel to High School Girl
Letters to Father ~ This would be a high school AU where child genius Toshiro’s father Gin is also his teacher but he doesn’t know it.
Life’s a Rodeo ~ Horseland/Bleach crossover where Yuzu takes up horseback riding.
Lost child ~ What if Rangiku didn’t find Toshiro when she did?
Lost Life ~ Soifon loses her memories and gets them back, only to find she’s lost quite a few years.
Lost Memories ~ Toshiro loses his memories and is reduced to a child like state Magia Red – Situational AU involving old time mafia.
Misery ~ Uses Reversed Misery as a basis. My Angel ~ Sequel to Aizen’s Kingdom (working title)
Radio Kon: Mary Sue Hunt ~ Self Explanitary Shadows Keeper _ Xiaolin Showdown/Bleach crossover
Sing Me a Song ~ Popstar AU… NO copyrighted song lyrics!
Stop the Presses – Toshiro gives Hisagi a story. The story Toshiro gives him involves certain characters being in a writing situation.
There is Father ~ Durarara!!/Bleach crossover involving reincarnation, but who is a surprise.
Twisted Relationships ~ Shugo Chara/Bleach crossover that involves reincarnation as well as Toshiro and Momo being cousins. Involves Momo’s parents.
Where is Love ~ Situational AU where everyone is a part of the living world and Gin doesn’t know he has a son
AU ~ Momo dies and Rangiku comforts Toshiro (Ayako)
AU ~ Toshiro gets sick after training so much and Rangiku steps in. (Ayako)
AU ~ Toshiro goes through rehab after the Winter War and Rangiku takes care of him. (Ayako)
Alright, I’ve been reading this story, and I just wanted to say, there are a few things that are really keeping me from fully enjoying it.
It is a collection of one-shots. While there is an over all theme to all of the stories and some happen to be sequels to others each one-shot is an individual story. That being said I don’t grantee that all of the stories will work let alone be consistent in quality because what I’m working with his theoretical.
For one thing, Toshiro is acting pretty OOC in a lot of these chapters. You’ve been making him cry more than a baby, sometimes over things that even regular people wouldn’t cry over, let alone Toshiro. In both the manga and anime, it’s shown that he only cried once, and that was before he became a harden shinigami and had to leave his granny. Other than that, even with all the horrible things happening to him, he hasn’t cried.
Which chapters? I think it is rather unfair to say that I have written him OoC in a lot of chapters and not telling me which ones you believe I wrote him OoC. That makes it hard for one to defend oneself from allegations. Here is a list of some if not all of the chapters in which I have Toshiro cry.
- Chapter 12: Snatched ~ Toshiro says goodbye to Rangiku and has a few tears as he says good-bye to her. There is no crying like a baby there, just a few tears.
- Chapter 25: Death ~ Irony here is in this particular chapter Toshiro questions why he himself is crying. The answer though comes from the fact he finds himself morning the death of someone in a non-public place and a few tears coming because of it isn’t out of the question. On top of this we don’t know how sensitive the issue of parents is too Toshiro either.
- Chapter 35: Broken Trust II ~ Toshiro was beat up to the point he up chucked his meal. He is then dragged into where the Quincy are and has his entire world turned upside down because they tell him that he is blood related to them, his enemy. He’s also dealing with a painful injury to the side. This is one of the times that he was crying really hard and fast.
- Chapter 46: Jail of My Heart ~ Did I not make it clear that Toshiro had a fever in this particular one-shot? On top of this he’s gone through a horribly humiliating situation.
- Chapter 48: Bad Homecoming ~ He has a few tears of relief because he finds out Rangiku is alive.
- Chapter 50: Forgiveness ~ His eye’s are watering up because he’s mad.
- Chapter 60: Despair ~ The attack explains this one.
These were all the occurrences of Toshiro crying within the first sixty chapters. Only two of the situations does he cry like a baby, the other situations the crying is minute. I’m also going to argue that we don’t know how Toshiro reacts when he is not in a public situation. That’s never been covered in the Manga.
His childhood friend trying to ‘avenge’ her dead father figure captain by killing him? No.
Instead he loses his temper. Not a good example.
That friend begging him to save the now realized psychotic killer ex-captain, even after that same killer almost killed her and her childhood friend, thereby showing how mentally unstable she has gotten? None.
Sorry, but no. This is not the same thing as having to say goodbye possibly forever to someone you greatly care about. It’s not the same as having a fever that effects your train of thought. It is also not the same as finding out the truth about your parents. No matter how much you try to paint this as being a significant emotional event for someone, particularly since Toshiro knows full well what was going on. On top of this he was on a mission and the head captain was there and intervened before any emotional stress could be caused for Toshiro.
His dead academy friend coming back to destroy everything he’s been trying to protect, trying to get him to join in? He was SAD, yes, but he didn’t shed a tear.
Toshiro’s mind was focused on a.) surviving and b.) making sure that the matter was handled with the honor it should have been handled with. Toshiro still had some pretty bad emotional problems.
His childhood friend having to get her organs regenerated because he stabbed her through the heart? No tears shed, and that’d be a pretty good reason to do so. ALL of these reasons are.
The problem with this argument is that a month had passed since the events of the Winter War. There is no telling if Toshiro did any crying during that month. We do know that he goes into the destructive behavior of training himself to be stronger because he blames himself. His working on fully mastering Bankai comes back to bite him later on.
I know this may seem like I’m nitpicking, that this little thing shouldn’t matter very much, but a large part of Toshiro’s character is that he’s cold and angry, not showing much emotion outside of irritation and anger, with happiness being sprinkled in there. No matter what’s happening to him, he wouldn’t just sob over it, ESPECIALLY in battle, ESPECIALLY in front of people he doesn’t know, and ESPECIALLY after the time skip, where it’s shown that he’s gotten a pretty good hold over his emotions.
Toshiro’s own words about himself is that he seems cold and angry as he is unable to show emotion around people he doesn’t know. This does not mean Toshiro is in complete control of his emotions. While there were times where he cried in front of strangers in the one-shots he never cried during battle except for chapter sixty which is self explained.
Chapter twelve he’s facing Rangiku and not the stranger. Chapter twenty-fie is not in front of strangers. Chapter thirty-five has him majorly beaten up and chapter fourty-six has it so he has a major fever. Chapter fourty-eight involves him have a few tears of relief upon finding out that she is alive.
The first irony comes from the fact these were written before the chapters that seemed to show that Toshiro has come to be more in control of his emotions. The second irony comes from the fact the most recent chapters show Toshiro still has problems controlling his emotions as he is still a child. If he had such vast control of his emotions he wouldn’t have the shocked look on his face when Rangiku was thrown in front of him. Which also backs up what the fact many of the times he’s cried it has related to Rangiku of all people.
Also, though I did like how you used his attack here, giving a reason why Toshiro might not would have a good hold over his emotions, it doesn’t make too much sense, since the ‘fire bar’ is called Burner Finger 1. All it is is a concentrated and powerful beam of fire. Nowhere anywhere did anyone say that it, or Bazz-B for that matter, had or has the ability to inflict despair onto a person. The only reason the page where it was used said “Fire Bar Of Despair,” was because it shot through a captain with ease. It might make the surrounding shinigami, along with other shinigami, feel despair by making them think ‘Oh no, they defeated a captain with just a finger, we have no chance’ or things like that, but the attack itself most likely does not have that ability.
The only reason the page read “Fire Bar of Despair” was because it was a mistranslation in the early scanlation. It now reads “Fire Bar Number One” and “A flaming pillar of despair.” It is true that there was no point that said that was or wasn’t the additional ability of Bazz-B’s attack. Thing is these one-shots are theoretical pieces and that one-shot was based around the theory that feeling despair was an additional effect of Bazz-B’s attack. It didn’t say at the time of writing said one-shot that it wasn’t the additional ability either.
Another thing, I know that this is because this story is related to another one of your’s that revolves around Toshiro and Bambietta being twins, and so you’re going around the “Opposite Twin” idea, but I don’t think you can fully do that here. The Stern Ritter follow a system in which they are given a letter that corresponds with their ability. Having Bambietta have a fire-based attack system isn’t sensible, as the SR both assigned her with “E” and already has someone with fire-based attacks. If she had fire as her way of fighting, then she would have either been assigned “F” or share “H” with Bazz-B.
How about eruption? Or what is even more likely based on the latest chapters, explosion? It’s not yet been proofed one way or another, though her explosion based attacks could also be energy based. I’m also going to point out that the other story you mentioned is related to this story and not the other way around as it was started because I started tossing theories around.
If you ARE going with the “Opposite Twin” idea, then you don’t have to do anything with Toshiro and Bambietta except write out to the best of your ability their own personalities, as by themselves they are pretty unlike each other; where Toshiro is generally a calm and cold person, getting irritated a lot, but not venting out on people outside of yelling at them, Bambietta is generally an angry and sadistic femme fatale. straight out killing men after leading them to her under false pretenses to vent her anger, with bits of calm here and there.
Theoretical is theoretical. It means that you’re going to be making a lot of guess work and you’re not always going to be right. However, theoretical work also means that the writer has a good enough grasp of their theory to make it work. Sure, I don’t have to have Bambietta be fire based power wise for it to work, but her having fire based powers is in fact a theory. Until it is proven otherwise… well, there is nothing wrong with me writing it.
I’m sorry for the length of this review, and I don’t mean for this to be an attack or flame of any kind. I’m just suggesting that you try to change some things to make this story better, because I LOVE this idea, and I would love to see it written as greatly as it can. 🙂
This is a collection of one-shots. Actually, this is a collection of theoretical one-shots. They’re not going to be perfect, they run the chance of being debunked and practically every single one of them will eventually end up being AU even if the theories used in them are right. I’m not going to go back and change things because the canon changed, that defeats the whole purpose of theoretical work. Actually, it goes against the whole point of a one-shot collection like I’m doing.
Or Hitsugaya could be in the rehab after getting back his arm and leg that he had lost during the Winter War. Momo could be dead, he’d have nightmares about it. Matsumoto would be the only one he would open up – cry, show fear and pain, let he comfort him like little kid ( he’s 10 years old). Gin would try to get close to them, but Hitsugaya could be scared of him and hate him for hurting Matsumoto. Hitsugaya could get sick after training too much or he could get beaten up pretty bad and threaten up to be killed by someone who stands for Gin (like some sicko who actually loved Aizen and took a chance of Hitsugaya being in his weaken state – like revived in hell Momo).
Thanks for the suggestions. I like all of them and they may be one of the next projects I pursue.
I have to critique the characterization.
While Hitsugaya has the body of a child, his mind is more advanced than many of the adults around him. He is not that naive, self-conscious, or really any of that stuff. He’s an over-100 year old, genius, and Captain, who has killed. He’s not an innocent little kid. It’s like you made him into the character you want him to be.
Well, basically all the action Uryuu did was push up his glasses! xD Once or twice would’ve been cool but he did it everytime he talked. Was funny though. xD But he definitely would’ve never said that about Orihime being a burden. He was with her during the SS invasion, and knows she’s been training to get stronger.
Ichigo. He’s pretty much as bad as Toshiro (and Gin). He’s a 15 year old boy, not this adultish, big brother type your making him to be. He’s rash, and does things without thinking.
Gin and Rangiku. They’re humorous characters! They aren’t meant to be serious all the time, and even if they were they wouldn’t act like that.
Orihime isn’t that ditzy. Okay, she kinda is, but she’s not an idiot. If Nel had taken the sword, she probably would’ve helped Ichigo try and get it back, or throw up her shield to stop Nel. If you really need some help with Orihime’s character, then look in the TYBW arc; she’s there in Hueco Mundo with Ichigo, Chad, and Urahara. She’s being serious, not all ditzy.
This is a review for this story and most of your others. I just think you should reread, or rematch some parts to help you actually get a feel for the characters.
Despite the fact Toshiro is over forty to fifty years of age… (it has not been confirmed whether or not he is actually over a hundred years of age in canon yet)… he is still physically ten to twelve years of age. It’s not just the body that ages and develops as a child ages but also the brain. Since Toshiro has not hit puberty or just is hitting puberty we run into the problem that while he has a high intelligence level there are certain things his brain is not yet wired for because his brain hasn’t gone through said development yet.
Then there is the fact Toshiro is a child genius. Child geniuses are known for having social problems as well as childish quirks way into adulthood. These quirks vary from person to person, but in some cases you have extremes like Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory. Certain things go over his head despite the fact he is an adult. If I were to have Toshiro act like an adult all the time, well that is when I feel that I would be having him act out of character.
Toshiro has proven that he is highly self-concious. He blames himself for what happened to Hinamori Momo. Matsumoto Rangiku comments on the fact he has a persecution complex. He’s always worried about his height and the way people see him. He struggles to make friends and create social bonds. He’s lost his temper at times causing some major problems.
I don’t see a problem with describing Uryu pushing up his glasses when it is a habit he has. Would Uryu have never said that Orihime was a burden? I think this isn’t something that can be determined as in the original version of Bleach it was Orihime who was kidnapped and not Toshiro. Uryu’s comment about how they shouldn’t have brought her with them came after Orihime had managed to mess up quite a few times and he was simply voicing his concerns.
One of Ichigo’s defining traits is the fact he is a big brother to his two little sisters and this has also transferred somewhat towards Toshiro.
Gin and Ran
I would not call Gin and Ran humorous characters. Sure, they have their humorous moments but what character in Bleach doesn’t? The situation did not for them being humorous.
The Thousand Year Bloody War arc happens after the time skip. This takes place prior to the time skip and thus uses the characterization from that particular time.
I’m so sorry! I think credit should be given where credit is due, and it is canon that hinamori is a kido master. I really wouldn’t be surprised if Shinji does get rid of her in the manga though. Thank you for update and I’m sorry for putting two reviews. Please forgive me!
Hinamori Momo being a kido master in canon is a misconception I’ve seen crop up a lot among Bleach fans. Part of this misconception comes from this particular quote on her wiki page.
Captain Hitsugaya and Izuru have stated Momo is a Kidō master.
Despite this the wiki lists her as a kido expert, their stance being this.
This has already been brought up and determined to be inaccurate in comparison with the likes of Urahara, Yamamoto or even a captain, there is no lieutenant level or lower who can be considered a master. While Momo is very talented at Kido she has not shown herself any masterful skill thus why she is called only an expert until proven otherwise.–Salubri
Some people are thinking, “but Toshiro and Izuru have both said that Momo is a kido master. The wiki says so.” Context is important and unfortunately this particular statement has no references so we can’t read the lines where Toshiro and Izuru make this claim.
What I personally remember Toshiro saying though wasn’t that Momo was a kido master, but that she was a master at using her kido. That’s not the same as saying she is a kido master as it instead indicates that Momo is able to master the kido she chooses to learn. Even if he did mean to say that Momo is a kido master the comment needs to be taken with a grain of salt as Momo is Toshiro’s older foster sister. In similarity Izuru went through the academy with Momo and also has a one sided crush on her. There is the fact though that Tite Kubo himself says this about Momo. Is it proof?
The Lieutenant is an expert user of Kidō. She can look awe-inspiring sometimes. Her expression looks good this way too.
Is it proof that she is a kido master? Nope. It’s not even proof that she is an kido expert. If she was a kido expert then the quote would have looked like this.
The Lieutenant is a Kidō expert. She can look awe-inspiring sometimes. Her expression looks good this way too.
Instead Tite Kubo says what I recollect Toshiro himself saying, that Momo is good at the kido that she has learned. Some people are going to say, “but the wiki calls her an expert”. It also calls Momo a sword expert despite the fact Momo says that sword fighting is her weakness. Compare Momo to the other fukutaicho including Rukia who became a fukutaicho after the war we see that all of the other fukutaicho are better at kido then her except for Renji and Omaeda, both of which point out that kido is their weak point. These two have other skills though, Renji being strong in sword fighting and Omaeda being strong in stealth. Both are able to stand their ground and last for long periods of time in a fight while the one time we’ve seen Momo fight she was knocked out of play very soon after she entered the battle field.
Didn’t Momo put together two kido spells though? Yes, but canon makes it clear that “niju eisho” is not an ability unique to Momo. Rukia and Byakuya both use this technique. The spells she’s preformed are lower then the other fukutaicho and unlike the other fukutaicho she spent a lot of energy to perform the spells. She admits that she has to also use her kido to do sneak attacks. We don’t know her true kido ability. Some may say that her skill was lowered by what occurred previously in canon, but then there comes the fact if she was still recuperating she shouldn’t have been on the battle field and yet she made the decision to go.
By going to the battle field she ends up helping rather then hindering. Yes, I know that some people think that Momo ended up rescuing Rangiku but what ended up really happening is that Momo ended up interrupting Rangiku’s plan and chances are Rangiku had things under control. Things escalated from there and Momo caused four fukutaicho including herself to be taken out of battle and forced the head general Yamamotto to step in.
Am I saying that Momo isn’t fukutaicho material? No. I’m saying that there is nothing so far in canon that proves that she is fukutaicho material. Even if she were to suddenly prove that she is fukutaicho material there has been a time skip in the series meaning that she could have had the needed character development. The main point though is writing Momo as if she is not fukutaicho material is not out of canon, particularly since Aizen makes it clear that she was picked because she was easy to manipulate and she has the character flaws she does.
I choose to write Momo as not deserving of her fukutaicho position because she as a character has not proven herself in canon and because this also means I can work with her character using character development so that she develops into a character who deserves said position. That said it also isn’t easy with Momo’s particular personality either.
I really enjoy your style. I love how you always make Hiysugaya be the child of Matsumoto and Gin. It’s my secret desire to be the truth in the manga. It would be just great! I know you’re updating your stories slowly and you have so many of them, but I wonder if you vould write something different. It’s ALWAYS Gin who takes care of Hitsugaya. I must say it would be nice to read something that comes the other way around – Matsumoto taking care of the boy. Like… I dunno… Toshiro being sick and Matsumoto nursing him? Gin trying to get closer to both of them, but Hitsu would be afraid of him?
Anyway, great story. Can’t wait for more. Although I had to re-read it to remember the story 😉
I agree with the assessment that the majority of the stories I’ve written has had it so that Gin is taking care of Toshiro rather then Rangiku. I actually have a few longer ideas floating around my head that have it so Rangiku is the one taking care of their son rather then Toshiro but the ones that have ended up getting written are the ones that focus on Gin taking care of Toshiro over Rangiku, the exception being a few one-shots. The only one I can think of is Shogatsu. The others are likely buried in the many one-shot collections I have written.