Rose to Grey (07-18-2014)

Yesterday I got a couple of guest reviews come through on a story that hasn’t been updated since 2012 due to technical problems I did not foresee.  I’ve good reason to suspect that both reviews were written by the same person. I have a rule about not putting up with reviews from rabid fangirls who are obviously on some kind of personal vendetta just because someone decided to burst their bubble. My reason? I don’t want to pad my review count unfairly, some of my readers are trying to get away from these people and…

… the anonymous rabid fangirl review pretty much amounts to a bully tactic by certain fans who think they can run rampant on the review section in a manner that will cause ego bruising to the writer and will cause them to either cease updating or delete their fics all together. And why do they do it? Because they don’t like their bubbles burst and stories like mine force them to face realities that they don’t want to deal with. Or because they really do believe they are right.

So here are the reviews and my responses to them.

:Okay your story makes Momo and Toshiro seem so b***. One, I agree with the other review thst Momo is one of the sweetest characters. Also where has it been stated that Toshiro thinks of ichigo like a brother.



:Sure your working on the third part. That’s why after two years it’s not done yet. Yes Momo does have a childish outlook sometimes. When she thought Aizen was dead that’s why she got angry. Though it’s pretty understandable.


Let’s start with the first sentence.

:Okay your story makes Momo and Toshiro seem so b***.


Toshiro and Momo aren’t meant to be getting along in this story and to imply that they should be getting along all the time is problematic in the fact siblings don’t always get along. Well… some siblings do, but most have their sibling spats. There are also times when things happen between two siblings and it takes time for things to heal between the two of them. This is one of the focal points of this particular story, the fact they’re having a sibling spat and not getting along as well as the fact there are things that need to be mended between the two of them. Take this away and the story is ruined.


One, I agree with the other review thst Momo is one of the sweetest characters.


And if this person had actually read my author’s note written in response to said person they would have read this line.

While it is true that Momo is one of the sweetest characters in Bleach she’s also got a temper on her and a very childish outlook on life. I actually dislike it when people write Momo as always being sweet only because she isn’t that way.


Let me repeat here that while Momo may be one of the sweetest characters in Bleach that she has a berserk button. To elaborate on why I dislike it when people write Momo as always being sweet… it’s bad writing. Momo’s fatal flaw is her berserk button as well as her childish naivety. When people take away her berserk button flaw, they also tend to take away her childish naivety and we end up with a character with no fatal flaws, who is perfect… yes… a Mary Sue. 

Sure… people can work with her so she can over come her fatal flaws, but practically no one tries to make her over come the fatal flaw but instead erases the flaw from her characterization as if it never existed. I’ve actually found that the ones that try to address the fatal flaws Momo still tend to struggle with her characterization as there are no strong fatal flaws to counter balance the ones she lost.

Of course… there is another scope I’ve seen which is just as bad if not worse. I’ve also seen stories where Momo’s berserk button is still there minus her childish naivety. Except… the writer didn’t intend it as a berserk button as there is no reason to someones berserk button. Instead the writer has Momo go off because of some feminine injustice that she needs to stand up for. Problem? These feminine injustices are contrived and unrealistic, many of them showing off the immaturity of the writer.

Truth of the matter is Momo is a canon character who is a prime candidate for younger writers to self insert themselves into. I’m sad to admit there are some adults out there as well who use her for self inserting themselves. She’s close to a bunch of the guys the writer likes… Toshiro tending to be the main candidate. She is high ranking and supposedly can kick butt*. She’s also cute, has a personality like Bella Swan… yeah… I just compared Momo to Bella Swan. One of the differences though between her and Bella Swan is that her flaws within canon are treated as flaws and she doesn’t get away with her behaviors either… or the behaviors she does get away with are played for comedic effect.

Also where has it been stated that Toshiro thinks of ichigo like a brother.


In my story.  And I quote…

The boy simply shuffled his foot, refusing to give his reply to the question. Izuru though spoke up for him. “That’s because Kurosaki isn’t a stranger to Hitsugaya Taicho anymore.” He then glanced down at the ground. “Which is strange as you aren’t known for getting close to people.”

“I know that.” Toshiro responded.

“So the two of you became friends.” Momo asked rather suddenly.

The small taicho remained silent for a few minutes before speaking up again. “No. I wouldn’t call our relationship really friendship. Kurosaki is like an older brother. Except the funny thing is he is younger then me.”

I say “in my story in this one” because in this particular story Toshiro comes to the conclusion that his relationship with Ichigo is like that of siblings within the story. It’s the way his thought process ended up working. No where in canon has it been out right stated that Toshiro or Ichigo think of each other as siblings, where as it has been stated quite clearly for Momo and Toshiro in the first character book. Even if it isn’t stated outright one can come to the conclusion that they have a sibling like relationship with each other. I mean… many people have come to that conclusion about Momo and Toshiro without reading the first character book.** I could go into a long essay about why Toshiro and Ichigo have a sibling like relationship with each other… if I find myself with the time to write it that is. This isn’t the place for it, so I’ll simply say that the context clues are there within the canon that they have a sibling like relationship.

:Sure your working on the third part. That’s why after two years it’s not done yet.


This particular line is why I feel that this particular anon wasn’t simply leaving rabid rants but was trying to bully me into writing the way they want me to write… which means having Momo always being as sweet as possible and possibly even having her paired with Toshiro… or to quit writing all together and delete all works that do not confirm to their view point.

It is honestly very poor etiquette for any reviewer to bring up the fact a writer hasn’t updated in so many years. It’s even ruder to snark about how the writer can not be working on the third part because ‘it would be updated already if that were true’.


It can take a long time to write some things. In this particular case I’m actually very OCD about this particular chapter. I’ve also had to deal with computer issues as well as the current arc getting darker then even I expected it to go. People who make these kinds of statements don’t know what its like being stuck trying to get just the right sentence to progress the story along.

Yes Momo does have a childish outlook sometimes. When she thought Aizen was dead that’s why she got angry. Though it’s pretty understandable.

Is this person even up to date with the current canon of Bleach? Because I certainly have seen Momo lose her cool in canon twice since the time she thought Aizen was dead. One of these times was when she jumped into Matsumoto Rangiku’s battle thinking that she was helping when she wasn’t*. The second of these times occurred in the recent arc where she tries fighting Bambietta Basterbine and has to have her butt rescued by Komamura Taicho.

And no… it isn’t pretty understandable. There is a reason it is called irrational behavior. True… Momo is prone to having irrational behavior because of her character and thus it is understandable why she ends up acting in a childish manner. The argument here though is that there is some rationalization as to why she acted the way she did when Aizen died and yet the way she is acting within has no actual rationalization as to why she is acting the way she is. This is despite the fact the rationalization for both is pretty much the same.

I mean… really?

One of the things I like about Momo is that she is childish and immature. This is in contrast to Toshiro who while being an actual child struggles to act childish and is constantly acting in a mature manner. She ends up being a foil for him.

* Momo really isn’t a character who can kick butt like many of her fans think. She’s always causing trouble for others when she fights. This includes when fans think she went and rescued Matsumoto Rangiku from Haribel’s fraccion. In reality she messed up Rangiku’s plans and made things worse and as a result caused three fukutaicho ranked shinigami to be taken out. We still haven’t seen what makes her fukutaicho material, her only strength being her healing kido. Even her other kido skills are questionable.

** I know that many Hitsuhina fans will argue that it is not obvious to them, so it can’t be true that many people have come to this conclusion without the first character book. I wish to point out here that the Hitsuhina fans are not the only Bleach fans out there as well as the fact they don’t make up the majority of the Bleach fans either. They’re a minority.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s