Bleach: Red and White

Here are some guest reviews from Red and White.

9/17/15 – You ever gonna continue this? I willz die if you don’t

I do plan on continuing the fanfic. Please don’t leave reviews saying you’ll die as that really makes me uncomfortable. I know you’re not serious, but it’s also not a laughing matter with the fact there are people who do suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts out there. It doesn’t get writers to hurry up either.

4/13/15 – This is waaaayyyy too adorable!

I’m glad you thought it was adorable.

Salsae – 11-05-13

Let me just point this out to relief my itch…
“Then” and “Than” are 2 very different things…
Please specify and add more details as to whom you’re talking about, like a “certain girl” made me thought for a moment that another person came into the conversation…
There is also the part where you tend to make a lot of typographical errors…
Perhaps a beta reader would be fitting…
Another advice is to actually put descriptions in the dialogue like the last chapter ‘Don’t listen to Rukia-nee and blah’, add something like “There was a crumpled paper atop the contents of the box with a message scribbled haphazardly, [enter content of the paper]”
I really hope you improve and to limit the OOC-ness…
The over-all story was interesting but the language was very confusing…

I really appreciate the comment about then and than, but I’m really at a loss at everything else. I’m not sure for example how things like “certain girl” made you think another person came into the conversation. When I see it used in writing it tends to be used to indicate a character certain people don’t want to talk about, or when a characters mind is foggy regarding a certain character.

I choose to also write that particular part regarding the letter Karin wrote Toshiro because his reaction was to read the letter out loud and then he noticed more then just the words. The words “haphazardly” also do not mean the same thing as “hastily”. Changing the order of how things are described and how things are described changes the importance and what I wanted to get across.

A writer also can’t improve upon OoCness if someone doesn’t explain why the characters are OoC and even then they can only improve if there is a valid argument as to why the characters are OoC and it’s not just varying differences in opinion.

10/29/12 – Good story… *thumbs up* Can’t wait for the next chapter.. Is there going to
be IchiRuki here? D …

I’ve no plans for pairing Ichigo and Rukia up in this one as the plot at this point doesn’t lead to them getting together, or being more then just friends.


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