I received a couple of reviews from anonymous reviewers on this story – well, three, one of which asks for a sequel that I am working on as my Just Write It for Wattpad this month. Here is the first review.
Did your best – July 27 – Not a bad fic overall, but it fell a bit flat. While the basics of the characters’ personalities were there, they were fairly bland, like there’s no real desire to flesh them out in a unique way. A good effort, but not terribly memorable.
And part of the second review…
Guest – Aug 8 – The character also had me a little confused, which might have just been because of the dialogue, since it felt a bit stiff. […] I think you’re able to do more with it.
I agree with both reviews. Now, I really didn’t intend to flesh out the characters in a unique way for this piece. I didn’t want to shove in my theory of Keith and Shiro being brothers, or some other theories I have going on. I focused mostly on making a particular point – how unbelievable the Keith is Galra stories had been up until then. I’ve since come across a few writers who actually fleshed out the idea. Despite the fact character development wasn’t a goal, I still could have worked on it. I’ll also try to work on my dialogue in my other stories.
P.S. This said, the reason for Keith being Galra doesn’t actually work. What he touched was not a hand scanner but a button, and the object the Galra hand was used on was actually a hand scanner. I still like the theory that Keith is part alien simply because it’s fun, but I decided to put my own twist to it.