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Pokemon: Bulbatoe

Today I got an anonymous review which equates to ‘how not to get your favorite writer to update what you want them to update‘. Bulbatoe is a Pokemon one-shot I wrote recently for someone’s Yuletide wish this year, and yet here is one of the reviews I got.

Kaito1412:Can you please finish some of your other stories before you start another.I am a real big fan of your hitsukarin stories.I have been waiting a long time for you to update   red and white,cage package,diamond treasure,understanding ll ,negirau   that I don’t like your other stories you are one of my favorite   let me know in an update of your next story if you are going to do it or not.I wil still read your   it just gets me so mad when you really get into a story and the other doesn’t want to continue or if they forgot about it.

There are actually quite a few issues with this particular review. The first thing which jumped out at me was the last part which reads…

it just gets me so mad when you really get into a story and the other doesn’t want to continue or if they forgot about it

You the reader do not know what is going on in said writer’s life, so you do not know why they are not continuing said story at that point in time. The reason I’ve not updated a lot of my stories recently has nothing to do with the fact I don’t want to continue these stories, or that I forgotten them, but that recently I’ve had to deal with some major things going on offline that has a negative effect on my writing schedule.

I’ve also got to deal with the fact my mind bounces all over the place with tons of ideas. For those of you who think having some disorder which allows the writer to super focus on a task is great – this is actually one of the major downsides to having such a disorder. It has ways of backfiring.

Second thing I noticed was this review wasn’t even left on a story for the Bleach fandom! It was also left on a one-shot I wrote for a specific challenge/contest/event, which in turn is a way to help me refocus on my bigger projects, or at least most of the time. It’s part of how my writing process works. Most of all though, the real reason they posted on said story is because Bulbatoe is the latest story I posted, and this was for the holidays.

But there is a third issue I noticed.

I am a real big fan of your hitsukarin stories.I have been waiting a long time for you to update   red and white,cage package,diamond treasure,understanding ll ,negirau   that I don’t like your other stories

Thank you for making it clear the only reason you like my stories is because of the pairing and were able to get your latest fix for said pairing, and not because you actually like the stories I wrote.

At least that’s the way that particular comment reads.

First, I’ve actually posted quite a few stories for this pairing which are clearly marked for this pairing. Many are one-shots and short stories for the most part, and are the type of thing which are meant to help tie over readers when a writer’s not actually able to update their other stories of the same type.

Second, there is one story though I published recently which was my NaNoWriMo project for this year, which tends to be one of the major offline things which gets in the way of me updating, but is also very important to me. Cancer is a piece I’m working on which is clearly marked as containing this pairing. One of the major differences between the five they listed and Cancer is you know you’re going to get a happy ending when you read the summaries of the other stories, but for Cancer you know there is a chance there may not be a happy ending for the couple. Said reader though isn’t willing to give the story a chance to find out though.

Third, if they actually bothered to read the stories I’ve written which aren’t marked for the pairing they would know a lot of my stories feature the pairing due to the fact I like the dynamics said pairing adds to the stories I write. I’m actually a genfic writer, not a shipfic writer. That means ships will take a back seat to writing out the plot for a given story, and if the plot doesn’t allow said pairing to occur, it doesn’t happen.

This doesn’t though mean said pairings don’t occur in these stories, and one of the things which really bothers us genfic writers is that when a person knows that we favor a particular pairing they don’t try bothering to read the stuff where the pairing they’re looking for isn’t marked. Yes, in some cases the major events for said pairing isn’t going to happen until the third in a series, but a well written pairing isn’t rushed, and a writer takes their time getting to the good parts. And in some cases, like with Christmas Nightmare, we have a story where the pairing is there in the first story, but the reader’s got to be patient enough to allow the pairing to show through. Other readers would also love to see these stories updates to, and yet this one reader wants favoritism.

Truth be told it’s like watching Bleach, and waiting for the episodes for Toshiro and Karin to show up, rather then fast forwarding to the episodes in question.

Can you please finish some of your other stories before you start another.

This is how the review started, and this is honestly how the writer of said review should have left things. I can honestly agree that it would be nice for me to finish some of the stories I already got going before I start another. That though brings into question how many, which ones, which readers do I favor over others – and also brings up the issue of how my mind unfortunately works when I write. It comes down to this.

I’d love to promise not to start anymore stories before finishing some of my older ones, but that’s just not possible. I’ve tried, and the end results was my mind going off at such a speed I can’t focus on the stories I need to finish. Thus the one-shots, and short stories are supposed to help, as well as my NaNoWriMo and other writing exercises. These provide a limiter on the stories I can start at a given time.

And before you say, “but it can’t be that hard“, I once made a list of all the story ideas I had once, and I had over two-hundred in my list, and this was back when I still had around a hundred stories published already.

In this particular case the reader crossed the line.

  1. Don’t ever act like the writer whose not updating like you want is wronging you. You the reader don’t know what’s going on. Take for example one of my favorite stories, Shinigami Kids Society by Lucanite. Sadly, I don’t think I’ll ever see an update from her, ever. In this particular case I know the writer has health issues, because she posted about it sometime between when I first discovered this lovely series, and when she made the latest update to her profile on January 13, 2011. She was so sick, she couldn’t update like she wanted. One of the stories I created since I last updated these stories, the exception being possibly one update for Red and White, is the Finding Friendship story, which is a series inspired by her work, and dedicated to her specifically. This series is actually going to feature the pairing in question, but the really good stuff’s not going to start until part three because that’s how the story worked out, and I really want this one to be good because she’s the one who inspired me to write Finding Friendship. This had been bumping around in my head for four years at least, before I got it to a point I was ready to start.
  2. Don’t review a story that has nothing to do with what you’re talking about. By this I mean a story which isn’t one of the ones in question. Posting it to a one-shot says you don’t respect the writer’s need to take a break to write a one-shot piece. (I mean, come on, it’s a one-shot, which is supposed to be a stand alone piece, and not continued.) Posting it to a story from another fandom says you don’t respect the writer’s right to write for other fandoms. Posting it in general to other stories, well, it just doesn’t respect the writer’s right to write things for that fandom outside of what you personally want. And posting it on a story they just updated? How about using a PM instead? If you don’t have an account, well, my anonymous reviews are screened. I’ve got to read all of them unless I get really sick, and rarely if ever miss them, so you don’t have to post to the story that’s just been updated. That’s just, well, rather childish.
  3. Leave your fixes out of it. Mind you, there are writers out there who do write for a particular fix because they know it will get them more reviews, reads, favorites, what ever. The serious writers though take pride in their craft, and care more about telling a good story, so if you let on that you like their stories because they feed your latest fix, you’ve actually slapped them in the face. Translation: “I care about my fix, not your actual story. Give me my fix NOW!”

In fact, I need add this note on fixes. If you’re reading for the fix, I’ve a hard time considering you a real fan of whatever your latest fix is.

Why?

I get reading everything for a particular fix. I do that for stories where Isshin is Toshiro’s former taicho, or Gin and Ran are his biological parents. I don’t though let that get in the way of discerning which of these stories are better written, or appreciating what the writer brings to the table. One writer I’ve mentored for example, forever122, wrote a ton of a adorable stories where Gin and Ran were Toshiro’s parents, but the fact they’re a young writer shows through. Last year though they wrote Wish, and this particular story jumps in quality compared to their other stories. That’s the kind of stuff writer’s want to hear about, which brings me tot he forth issue.

  1. Don’t act like the writer owes you something.
  2. Don’t post reviews to unrelated stories.
  3. Keep your fix out of it.
  4. Don’t bash the writer’s other works. Seriously, telling them you don’t like their other works, or that you won’t give them a try, how are you to tell the writer how they’ve improved? The signs of improvement are less likely to show through on an older story compared to a new or rewritten one.
  5. Keep in mind there are readers for the writers other stories. I’m one of the main writers for the stories where Isshin is Toshiro’s former taicho, or even Ran and Gin their biological parents. Most of them are mine.

Last, don’t tell me to “let you know in an update of your next story”. If this is really that important to you, then you create an account and PM me. Take also into consideration how long this reply was.

P.S. I took time out to write this reply from what I was doing. I was working on a project I wanted to finish, so I could then get back to updating older stories. Now I’ve got to get refocused on that.

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Broken Trot (6-27-2014)

cerise:I hated that you made it about Bailey and Sarah you should have made it about Will and Sarah

The reader has no right to dictate what pairings the writer uses and acting like they do crosses a reviewing etiquette on the reviewers part. This isn’t the same thing mind you as a review chewing out the writer for not giving any warning about certain “kinds” of pairings, like slash, incest, non-consensual, you name it. With the new character system that allows the reader to tag the characters in a pairing writers are having to use less warnings as well these days and some become redundant.

In this particular case the most popular pairing in the Horseland fandom is Will/Sarah. There are sixty-three stories for this particular fandom. Fourteen of these stories can be found by putting in Will and Sarah into the character search. This means that around one-fifth of the stories are about this particular pairing. On top of this eleven of the stories in the Horseland fandom are mine. Take them away and the percentage of Will/Sarah becomes even bigger and amounts to one-forth of the stories.

How is this fair to the other people in the fandom? Not everybody else wants to read Will/Sarah. I don’t mind reading it despite it being my preferred pairing, but I’ve also found it to be getting old. Not to mention the fact there is an… issue… with this particular pairing. Most of the writers don’t realize that there is likely a three year age gap between the two characters. Then again  I have to wonder if any of them realize that this three year age gap has legal ramifications and that the two really can’t date until Sarah turns eighteen. I don’t point this out because many of the kids who write this pairing are rather young and don’t understand the ramifications.

The main point is that I’m not going to write Will/Sarah just because someone tells me I’m wrong for liking and writing the ship I do. I thought about writing an AU… but you know what. At this point the AU is going to be a one-shot where Will turns Sarah down. And that is sure to go over well.

This also said… I’m seriously thinking about doing a Fanworks for this particular series… minus the M rated stuff. It might help some of the younger writers out. Unfortunatly… some of the writers for Fanworks that I’ve created… they’re stuff is M rated for a reason. So I might do something seperate for their stories. It’s a pain though keeping track of the two. I’ll need to think about it.

 

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Lost Child (11-19-2013)

Omg, don’t make Ran Aizen’s slave, please! Don’t make her have his kid! Omg, omg, omg, Gin, find her and save her, quickly! Or Issin-san!
I’d love to see Rangiku hugging Toshiro like that, comforting him, making him feel safe and loved. I’m sure she’s going to be an awesome mom. Shiba can take Momo. I don’t care about her at all. But Shiro’s place is with his mommy and daddy

It is still up in the air exactly what Aizen is going to do to Rangiku. Gin will not be finding her fast as Aizen is not someone he can simply move against in a quick manner. It’s why it took him so long in the original canon. Because of this Toshiro won’t be able to be with his mother and father. Sorry to disapoint.

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“Adaptions”

There is a type of fic certain people call “adaptions”. Adaptions are where a writer takes a story from one fandom. They strip the stories characters away and replace them with characters from another fandom.

This is not writing.

No, seriously… this is not writing. Taking another person’s story and typing it up either word for word or even paraphrasing it doesn’t take much effort. What effort that goes into transcribing another persons story is nothing compared to the work it takes to come up with your own story. Replacing the characters with other characters also takes little effort.

It’s cheating.

Yes, other people do it and you can find these stories online because nobody has bothered to report them and the site admins take a long time to take care of the works reported to them. People also cheat on tests and get away with it. People get away with putting graffiti on the sides of buildings. People getting away with things doesn’t make it right nor is it a defense for doing the wrong thing. In fact, it makes doing it even worse.

Why?

Why do people do it? It is typically for one or more of the following reasons.

  1. They don’t have confidence in their own writing.
  2. They want more reviews.
  3. They see other people doing it.

What if a person is inspired by something?

It is actually possible to write a story that is inspired by various tales without plagiarizing the actual storyline. You have to go and make it your own and you have to understand how to write this particular story. The idea isn’t to adapt the material. The idea is to create something new. An example is Cinderella. While each of the adaptions of the material shares minor traits each of the adaptions is its own unique version.

When a writer creates a Cinderella story it will have the following traits.

  1. The main characters mother dies.
  2. Her father remarries and she gets a stepmother.
  3. Her stepmother and stepsisters treat her like a slave.
  4. Her fairy godmother helps her get to the ball.
  5. The prince finds her shoe and thus finds her.

Let’s say though a writer were to create a story where Cinderella has the ability to talk to animals and she makes clothes for the mice. She has a beautiful singing voice and lives in the attic. She is told she can not go to the ball because she has no dress and her mother’s old dress is not good enough as it is out of style. The mice steal various items and make her an outfit. However, when she went down stairs she found her dress being ripped apart by her step sister. She stays there and cries while her step siblings take off. Her fairy god mother shows up and makes her a beautiful dress with glass slippers.

These traits are distinct to Disney’s Cinderella and are part of what makes it unique.

Why do you bring this up?

I talked to someone about this and I thought I had convinced them that they needed to make the story their own. They talked to someone else who linked them to stories that slap canon characters in the place of other canon characters and admitted that the subject is controversial. They then blocked me. To me this is sadly an admittance of guilt. Believe me, I’ve seen the site admins remove these stories in the past when I have reported them and the admins have been doing their job well when it has come to reports.

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Red and White (11/5/2013)

Let me just point this out to relief my itch…
“Then” and “Than” are 2 very different things…
Please specify and add more dhttps://yemihikari276.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post-new.phpetails as to whom you’re talking about, like a “certain girl” made me thought for a moment that another person came into the conversation…
There is also the part where you tend to make a lot of typographical errors
Perhaps a beta reader would be fitting…
Another advice is to actually put descriptions in the dialogue like the last chapter ‘Don’t listen to Rukia-nee and blah’, add something like “There was a crumpled paper atop the contents of the box with a message scribbled haphazardly, [enter content of the paper]”
I really hope you improve and to limit the OOC-ness…
The over-all story was interesting but the language was very confusing…

The first chapters for Red and White were written over five years ago. Anything from back then has quite a few grammar problems and even though I have improved grammar wise I still expect people to point out my grammar errors including the fact I use “then” and “than” and having a Beta reader would be nice. Finding a good one though is a problem as the two good ones I have had have come and gone from the site and the other one I had wasn’t a good Beta.

That said, if you’re going to lecture a person about typographical errors in a story you really should avoid typographical errors yourself when you review. A writer using “then” and “than” which are homophone errors honestly seems minor to the tense errors that you have. The word “relief” should be “relieve” and the word “thought” should be “think”.

I’m going to move along to the dialog you’re referring too.

“Maybe, I just have a really good memory. Don’t listen to what Rukia says. This is ‘giri choco’, not ‘honmei choco’.” What did she mean by…” Toshiro suddenly saw the exact contents of the box that had been under Karin’s hastily scrawled letter, which was also rather crumpled.

I’ll admit that it could have been better written and if I were to rewrite it today I would rewrite it something like this.

“Maybe I just have a really good memory. Don’t listen to what Rukia says. This is giri choco, not honmei choco.” What did she mean by…” Toshiro then saw the exact contents of the box that had been under Karin’s hastily scrawled  and crumpled letter.

Your solution though would have been to write it like this.

“Maybe I just have a really good memory.” There was a crumpled paper atop the contents of the box with a message scribbled haphazardly [that read] “Don’t listen to what Rukia says. This is ‘giri choco’, not ‘honmei choco’. Toshiro shook his head. “What did she mean by…” Toshiro then saw the exact contents of the box that had been under the letter that Karin had written him.

The problem with your solution comes down to the fact the message Karin wrote him was read out loud and your solution pretty much makes it so said message was no longer read out loud. While I could have said he read the message out loud having actual dialog where he reads said message out loud isn’t incorrect and which way a writer goes (whether to have the message read out loud in the dialog or say that it was read out loud) depends on what they’re trying to convey to the reader. I choose on purpose to have Toshiro say it out loud inside of the dialog rather then mentioning it.

Next… you say that “[you] really hope [I] improve and to limit the OOC-ness…” only to not provide any explanation as to where I was making the characters OoC within the story. I don’t know if I’ve improved grammar wise by your standards as you’ve not read anything that I’ve written in the five years since and not offered to tell me if I have or not.

As for the OoC issue… accusations of OoCness should be given with an explanation as to why a person thinks said characters are OoC so the person can either use it to their advantage or counter it.

P.S. Thank you for pointing out the “then” and “than” issue and the fact I do have a bit of odd language when I write which is particularly true in some of my older works.

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Lost Child (11/4/2013)

There are two reviews to reply to this time.

My poor baby Shiro. Left alone, beaten up… but I love the drama! Can’t wait to see what is going on with his mom. And where’s Isshin?
Gin is leaving his own kid AGAIN? Oh that snake 😛

Isshin is taking care of funeral preperations for his fukutaicho as they believe Rangiku to be dead. He’ll come in later. And yes… Gin is a snake leaving his own kid again. He doesn’t have much choice in the matter though.

Yare, yare. Another great storyvof the greatest Yemi Hikari – exacly what I needed this autumn. Looks like it’s another one of those where my beloved and ultimate character – Toushiro is a son of my beloved Matsumoto and liked, but not so much, Gin.
First of all, I’d like to thank you for bringing all if us all these great stories. You’re an awesome writer and I live your style, although I’d like to read more stories where Gin isn’t such a huge part of Toushiro’s life. I love him, but IMO the kid could have a better and stronger bond with his mother sometimes. Matsumoto is more protective of him, Gin was always protective of her and no one else.
Anyway, back to the point. Matsumoto is in trouble, Toushiro is alone and sick – poor kid. Hope Gin or Isshin or both of them will find Matsumoto soon and the kid will end up with his mother (or parents, or mother and father-figure like Isshin or Ukitake, but Isshin would be better,I guess) and she (or they) will start to make him feel safe and loved. He also needs to train to keep his reiatsu inside him.
Momo is great here, but I’d actually liked to see her betraying her little brother. Not in “give him to Aizen” way of course, just yell at him and blame him for killing granny. Only later, after some long time and lots of thinking, she could realize that she was wrong, but he would already be under mother’s protection and it wouldn’t be easy to talk to him.
Gin – as much as I like him, I always sa the poisonous snake in him and it looks like he left his kid AGAIN. I like it, though. It will probably bring more drama and trauma to Toushiro. How old is he here in human years? 7 tops, ne? It won’t be easy to earn his trust. Not for a male, he always lived with a woman. Men only caused him pain – both physical and emotional.
What happened to granny’s body? Is she going to be buried? Toushiro probably won’t see it, huh?
http://en.wordpress.com/post/59814805/new/
So, I see you’re updating this one pretty often. Hope you’ll stay this way and we’ll be able to read the hole story until the Christmas or not long after the New Year.

Hugs and keep doing such a great job!

I’d like to write some stories where Gin takes a smaller role in Toshiro’s life compared to what I’ve done. This one may be one of them bu it won’t be Rangiku who takes care of him either in this one.

One of the reasons Momo didn’t betray Toshiro is because the news that he was missing came before the accusation of murder. She tends to be one minded about things.

And yeah, that will bring more drama for him. He would be somewhere between five to eight years. How old he is has not been confirmed in canon so for this one we’ll say he is six and a half years old. I’m glad that you reminded me that Toshiro will not do well around males as well.

Tradition in Japan is cremation, not burial. It takes up less space. And no, Toshiro won’t be able to see it.

I should have at least 50,000 words by Christmas time.

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Lost Child (11/3/2013)

I always got the impression that Hitsugaya never wanted to be a shiningami. It took an authority figure, during a vunerable time where he found he was freezing his grandma to death, to convince him. However w/out Rangiku, he stll would have had the dream about hyourinmaru, woke up and found his living room a freezer and easily deduce he was the problem. He’s a genius and isnt naive, plus graduated the six year acadamy in one year. How hard would it be to self-teach himself to supress his reitsu .Stil like your story and ideas just make toshiro more mature than momo would the same situation

 

How hard would it be for Toshiro to self-teach himself to suppress his reiatsu? Fact is we don’t know how well Toshiro is able to repress his reiatsu and there is a high chance he was and may still be learning to pressures his reiatsu. It’s not a matter of being smart, it is a matter of being in control. Actually, in the DDR movie it shows that Toshiro is able to control his reiatsu to the extent he can hide it, but once he felt he no longer had to hide it he ended up blacking out and the area around him began to snow. This would happen to be fourty to fifty years after Rangiku helped him out.